13 hours of my life, 3 years of theirs

Today I finally finished the movie I started working on last Saturday, when I thought we had no internet. I'm not saying that my kids are cuter than yours, or that my kids are funnier than yours. But, well, maybe that is what I'm saying. You'll just have to watch it for yourself and see. Bring it on, fellow parents of snort-inducing children.

The movie is still called "Goofy," and it was running on to 18 minutes at one point on Sunday. Jörg kept stopping by every few minutes or so and asking, "Is it done yet?" Once he realized that the answer was going to be "No" for, apparently, forever, he asked how long the movie was. I told him, and got nothing but a blank stare in return.
"What?"
"You really need an editor."
"It's called 'Goofy'! That's a broad topic!"
Another blank stare.
"Hey. I am making memories here."

I keep telling him how happy he's going to be about these movies when he's old and retired and has nothing to do all day long but try to remember what in the Sam Hill he did with his dentures.

Through sheer willpower, I managed to trim it down to a tidy 11 minutes. I think it is, perhaps, the funniest thing I have ever seen. But I am operating under a serious bias. And also I am operating on no sleep, given how long this has taken me to finish.

Every once in a while, someone will ask me how in the world I manage to find time to put together these movies. It's true that I've gotten much faster at doing this over the years (sometimes I actually learn from my mistakes!). But the real answer is this: If you come to my door today and knock, don't be surprised if I only open the door the tiniest little crack. Any more, and you would see that we are living in a kind of parental squalor right now. There are toys everywhere: Barbies with half their hair chopped off, naked dolls with chewed-up hands, cars missing wheels, plastic rings adorned with pointy hearts and fake diamonds, all scattered on the floor waiting to poke themselves into our delicate feet as we stumble into the kitchen to see if there is any food, save for 2 fudgesicles crystallized to within an inch of their lives and a bag of low-sodium goldfish. In the basement, every board game we own has been opened and the game pieces all jumbled together, like the girls just dumped all the games on the floor and decided to play Twister in the middle of the mess.

So that's how I do it! Nothing easier!

But, really, these movies are worth all the work. Maybe I'm the one that most enjoys them now, but some day someone else will be grateful, too. I just know it. Already the girls get a kick out of watching themselves on TV. In fact, I even have a clip of them dancing to a video of themselves dancing on TV. I thought about filming them dancing to themselves dancing to themselves dancing on TV, but realized in time that I would never be able to pull myself out of that infinite loop of recursive artistry.

Before I post the link to the video, I thought I might provide a FAQ. Just in case.

Are the video clips in chronological order? Maybe. You tell me. My filing system on my computer for storing movies was somewhat less than efficient before iPhoto took over for me sometime last year.

Given the sounds emitted from your sweet little Frankie at age 6 months, do either of your family trees branch out from Transylvania? Specifically, Castle Dracula? Not as far as I know. Although... (?) Jörg does seem to be taking Annika's apparent vegetarianism rather hard. Hmmmmm.

Why did Annika think it would be a good idea to jump while standing inside a sandbox with a very low (and heavy) wooden roof over it? Because she is a dreamer.

Why was Annika's first thought "Poop" when she saw the sausage? Why wouldn't it be?

Did your dog really lick her lips after she ate one of those super long lasting bubbles? Yes!

Aren't those things bad for her digestion? Possibly. But I'm thinking no worse than goose crap, countless Barbie hands, the cat's regurgitated hairballs, and her very own pooper scooper.

What is Annika rubbing all over your (late and much beloved) cat, Hepburn? A fake ruby-red lipstick. Because no real ones were available, which totally ruined her plan of an avant-garde art installation: "Cat! Pissed-Off/Beautiful".

What is that decoration on the wall behind Anni when she is reading I Love Cats? It is purple crayon, and it is very very large, and if you dare laugh about that in front of either of my children, I might have to bust a move on your ass.

Did you remember to put a Swiffer on Frankie's behind before she sat down to spin on the kitchen floor? Of course. What am I? Some kind of amateur?

Is that a clothes pin holding Frankie's dress together while she's dancing? Yes, and don't act like you've never done it.

What in the world does Anni have stuffed into her nose and ears in that one really strange photo? Those are four jumbo-sized jacks. She got them in the hospital for holding still for an I.V. Jackpot!

What? Where in the world would she get the idea to use them like that? And how, HOW, did she get them to stay in place? I'm sorry. You'll have to take this one up with her. And, last I checked, she's not talking. For once.

I notice your house is really messy in that one clip where the girls are petting the cat. Were you working on a movie then, too? This FAQ is officially over. Thank you.

goofy on Vimeo

music: John Prine, "It's a Big Old Goofy World" and Kate Campbell, "Suit Yourself"

Also, you have to press the play button twice to get it going. If you don't want the progress bar at the bottom of the screen, you have to put your mouse over it, and then just move your pointer off the video screen (no clicking or anything). It took me a while to figure those things out myself. I'm just saying.

Comments

[Jason]

Thankyou for sharing - you inspired me to vimeo with the last clip - now I'm going to have to lock myself away for the weekend and put the clips together.

And my boy's cute too... I'm just saying.

[Kim]

Hi, I think this is so great...very gorgeous children. I love to make home videos as well of my three little ones. Thank you for sharing this joy.

[Madeleine]

Totally goofy! I'm especially impressed by the way you edited the music so that Frankie's hip shakin' was right on that little music whosit.

[Sonja]

So... what I'm wondering now is how you ever get anything done with that kind of entertainment going on all the time!
Frankie's expression in the Singing In The Car bit is my absolute favorite.

[klhp]

What beautiful, intelligent, creative children you have gifted to the world. Thank you.

[TC]

Too cute. I especially liked the Billy Joel part. My house is usually this messy and I don't make movies-maybe I should, then I'd have an excuse.

[Phantom Scribbler]

1. Frankie and I share a common opinion when it comes to the potential nausea-inducing properties of Billy Joel.

2. Perhaps that is because I am genuinely Transylvanian (unlike Frankie's virtual Transylvanianness).

3. Baby Blue particularly likes Frankie's Elmo shirt. She wants you should know that.

4. We have the same white register in our kitchen. Sealed to the floor with duct tape, to give it that last touch of visual finesse.

[Monica]

I really enjoyed the video! Rayna was sitting in my lap as I watched it and she was surprised to see herself in two of the photos!

I wish I had the energy to put together a movie of my kids, like that! Oh well!

[Kyla]

I love it!!! The girls are adorably hilarious. I was cracking up when Anni was falling down the water slide. Good stuff. And Frankie is a full time ham, eh? What a party it must be at your house! :)

And did you realize that you used to have two babies, and now they are both big girls?? How does that happen? My KayTar is now two, and I'm finding it hard to swallow that there are no babies around here anymore!

[Kari]

Oh, how fabulous. I love all the laughter.

[Mary]

What a beautiful record of their little moments together. They will treasure this, as will your skeptical hubby! Oh and, you think YOUR house is messy? Add 2 more kids and then you'll know what messy can truly mean. LOL.

[marymargaret]

Those are two truly beautiful girls you've got there! Makes me very nostalgic for when mine were that age. They are now 22 and 19, but there are still times when they look like that! Still love to watch them when they get together. (Oh, yeah, they are still very close--and goofy.)

[Norah]

that was awesome! your girls are adorable and hilarious.

[Catherine Newman]

Moreena, you are the best. The kids are so hilarious and beautiful, and I love to hear you laughing in the background all the time.

After the Billy Joel scene, which was so brilliant, my favorite thing was Annika's hand petting the cat with the lipstick. I don't know why. It's just so perfect.

Of course it made me cry too. This time with our young children is too much sometimes--its preciousness. Even seeing your Dracula-laugh Frankie baby made me miss my own babies.

Love to you guys.

xoxo

[moreena]

Thank you to everyone who managed to wait for an 11-minute video to load up and finish! I hope it went pretty fast (I think I love Vimeo). Your kind comments really made my day.

Jason - Yes! He is adorable! I watched him here:
http://mysontom.blogspot.com/2007/02/tomness.html

Madeleine - Pure serendipity

Sonja - Mostly, I don't. Although the entertainment is frequently far less, ahem, entertaining. If you know what I mean.

TC - I have several other excuses that I pull out on a regular basis. They're surprisingly easy to come by!

Phantom - Actually we really really love Billy Joel around here. I think Frankie was angry because she wanted to listen to Libbie Schrader's "Everything I'm Not" instead (she loves it when the chorus kicks in). Before I got out the camera, Annika was singing along really enthusiastically, which was what I wanted to capture. So you never know what you'll end up getting. I think it was better not being so cute. Accident! Again!

That Elmo shirt has been the fave of both girls. It's really fuzzy. From K-Mart.

Mary - Oh, I think I can imagine. Yow!

[ttulizzy]

Loved the video. Your girls are so cute, they must provide countless hours of fun! I've been reading your blog for a while now and have kept your family in my prayers. I hope you have a great day!

[Christy]

Beautiful Moreena! just so you know Elias watched it with me on my lap and though we can never tell how well his brain interprets video images he giggled in response to your girls and said, "More moobie" when it was through.

Thank you for sharing.

[Rowan]

I just got back online, and came to see how everybody's doing. This was great. As soon as it ended Kajsa yelled, "Start it again!"
I think it's a hit.

[moreena]

"more moobie" sounds about exactly right

[moreena]

Rowan -- nice to see you back around!

[Katie]

Oh my goodness that was beautiful. I was teary eyed through the whole thing. I need you to come to my house and capture those moments for my daughter. Thank you for sharing.

[Lauren]

Hi Moreena,

What a wonderful remembrance! The girls will love this when they're older (even more than they do now)!

I hope you're all doing well - give Anni and Frankie big hugs from me! (and Hello to Jorg, too!)

[ThatDeborahGirl]

Moreena...

...Thank you

[liz]

God...that was beautiful.

[AmyChop]

It's funny to see so many places I recognize- the new (now not so new I guess) Children's Museum, and the zoo. my favorite part of the whole video is the still of the girls on the hardwood floor, with Anni's hands over her mouth and Frankie's hilarious look.