you can say that again

Part I: Because It's Delightful!

I have a habit of always putting the good stuff as an afterthought at the end of my posts, which is no way to go if you are a ramblin' rambler like I am. So here's the good stuff:

A few weeks ago I was reading/watching Ira Glass on the Borders website, and I read his Shortlist of Good Stuff.

Surprisingly manly male list, I thought, although that probably makes me sound like a bigger ass than usual. Especially since there's no reason even to make the observation beyond laughing a little bit to myself when I imagined how he showed his list to his wife, who then made him replace Story of Ricky ("a multilayered fable about outcasts, and how fringe groups both replicate and repudiate societal norms, and only incidentally about a superstrong martial-arts guy who strangles bad guys with their own intestines") with Pride and Prejudice ("My wife made me watch this on our honeymoon...This version kicks the ass of that 2005 Keira Knightley version"). Who would have thought that Ira Glass is the type of guy who stages mental Jane Austen adaptation Fight Clubs?

So, anyway, I was reading Ira's list when I got to #3, which starts out, "If you are one of the six people left in America who doesn't already know about homestarrunner.com..."

This opening is not only a very effective technique for protecting yourself from all the internet geeks who are waiting to fill their livejournals with mercilessly funny bits about how poor Ira Glass is so 10 minutes ago, but it is also a verbally economic way (16 mostly monosyllabic words!) to make exactly six of your readers feel like it's prom night all over again, except on the internet this time.

I decided right then and there (several weeks ago), that I would post the link to homestarrunner.com, and that I most definitely would not preface it by writing, "If you are one of the five people left in America who doesn't already know about..."

(Annika recommends Winter Pool, even if she doesn't get half the jokes, and even if I then have to worry about her going on at school about how she's going to "smack it like a newborn's biscuit.")

In that same vein, here's a link to the awesomely awesome Inanimate Alice. I'm going to do my first analysis paper this semester on episode 1 from this series, and I can't tell you how excited I was to find an example of literary new media which doesn't require me to click through a series of ever more bewildering links or leave me feeling like I'm 13 again, and my piano teacher just handed me Alexander Tcherepnin ("Uhhhh, I hate to have to tell you this, but my copy seems to be missing the melody. Do you think it would be OK if I just worked some more on Open Arms this week?").

Inanimate Alice is also marketed as Young Adult (and they've provided an educational pack free for teachers wishing to explore online multimedia fiction with their students). My girls haven't seen the episodes yet, though, because the storylines deal, suspensefully, with the dread of being separated from your parents. Or, later, of being relatively powerless when your parents' world is a dangerous place.

In summary, Inanimate Alice: no fart jokes, but the music more than makes up for that.

And, finally, on the topic of music: Julieta Venegas, you are going to make me learn Spanish, aren't you?

Julieta Venegas: Limón y Sal

She gets even better on the songs with accordion!

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Part II: And Again, and again, and again...

Back a few months ago, the girls and I were driving back home from sledding. In our flatland central Illinois town, people drive from all over to find a spot with better than a 5-degree incline for some winter thrills. Because of the limited number of non-flat spots, most of the thrill is experienced not from the slippery ride down the hill, but the pure adrenaline rush of trying to walk back up without getting run down by the hundred other townsfolk who have flocked to the only spot where one might reasonably expect to get some forward action on a sled (that is, without pushing yourself along with your hands or scooting forward on your butt in jerky little motions, hoping with every thrust forward that somehow inertia will be magically overcome).

On the way home, we were listening to one of the mix CDs that Annika helped me put together. The song "My Favorite Things" came on (the original Julie Andrews version), and all three girls (my two, plus the neighbor girl unoficially adopted as a big sister) started singing along. Actually, "singing along" doesn't quite cover it. They were belting it out, Broadway-style.

It was pretty wonderful.

In fact, I thought as I listened to the three of them compete to see who was best able to project her voice from the back seat into the front seat (of the car 6 ahead of us at the stoplight), it's one of my favorite things.

Then I got all tickled at the delightfully nested nature of thinking that listening to the girls sing My Favorite Things is, in fact, one of my favorite things. Which, of course, made me realize that another of my favorite things is stumbling onto pseudo-recursion in my own inner monologue ("It's one of my favorite things that's it's one of my favorite things that one of my favorite things is listening to the girls sing My Favorite Things," and so on.)

Confusing myself: another of my favorite things.

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Part IIi: Because there's nothing I can say to stop you, is there?

When I heard that my sister had created a house blog (for the house they are trying to sell), I was delighted! I envisioned something like:

February 21, 2008

I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering if you just forgot to tell me that you were going on vacation. I guess you don't have to tell me everything, all the time. I know that. I do. That's probably it!

The missing furniture is still hard to understand, though. Does Florida no longer provide furnished condos?

February 17, 2008

The porch floor boards squeaked today, and I thought of you.

Damn squirrel.

February 14, 2008

OK I don't mean to freak anybody out here, but this afternoon a roving band of strangers walked right through the door. Just waltzed right in.

And there I was, bare of all furniture. Not even a skimpy little bar stool! Sweet Frank Lloyd Wright...I feel so violated.

February 10, 2008

Have I missed something here? Call me!

February 9, 2008

You could call, you know. I'm getting worried. I checked, and my phone line is still perfectly good, so don't even try that one. Beginning to feel punk'd.

February 8, 2008

I don't mean to sound pushy, but this is the longest furniture-shopping trip...evah. I had no idea you all were so indecisive. Still excited, though!

February 1, 2008

I hope you all are keeping in mind that a big-ass truck like that is going to leave ruts. Not that I don't appreciate all the extra breathing room you've given me now that you finally made the little ones pack up their extensive Beanie Baby collection. I can't wait to see what you all come up with now that I'm down to my exquisite bones! OMG, I feel all excited and fluttery...like there's a bat family reunion in my rafters or something. Is this what they feel like? I can't believe it's really happening to me!

But, as it turns out, the house blog is mostly a place for her to post a gazillion house photos, with detailed explanations. Much smarter than what I was imagining, if perhaps a tad less pointless.

Anyway, the point is that I finally realized that I will no longer be able to make the joke about how one of us lives in Normal (Illinois) and one of us lives in Peculiar (Missouri), and doesn't that just about say it all? Har!

I really hate to give that joke up, as it was my most reliably successful humorous anecdote at social functions. All the way into the hilarity red  zone on the laugh-o-meter, every time!

I know that the real reason my sister and her family moved was for a job, but I can't help but think there had to have been a conversation between my sister and her husband over the dining room table late one night that went something like this:

Is she ever going to stop telling that joke?

No, not likely.

OK, once, maybe, it was funny. But every time we see her? Really?

(Silence descends as long years of family reunions, birthdays, and vacations stretch out in their imaginations.)

We have to move, don't we?

I don't see any other solution.

So there you go. It's a great house in a gorgeous setting! My first order of business as new owner, though, would be to petition the town for a street name change. "Hanging Tree Lane"? There's just really no name you can give a pet to fix that stripper name, and our children's legacy should always come first, I say.

Comments

[Monica]

Hey, Moreena, sorry I had to go and ruin your favorite party story! It is kind of sad that we are no longer the "Normal" and the "Peculiar" sisters...the whole Ying/Yang thing is blown, now, I suppose.

I can't believe I never thought to write the house blog from the HOUSE'S perspective! Shoot, the house would probably have already been sold by now if I had approached it that way! Poor house is REALLY going to have esteem issues after today...I dropped the price by $9,000.

(I should have consulted with you from the outset! Hmmm...wonder if it too late to revamp my blog now?!)

~Monica

[Jess]

Hi! That's great news that you've found Inanimate Alice AND the education pack! I hope you keep us posted on your experience using it.

Thanks!

[Bluestem]

Love your blog. I work in a Big Corporate Corporation and worked tirelessly for years to keep a specific line in our glossary. "Recursion: See recursion." Alas, it finally was axed.

[moreena]

Monica - Do it, I say! If nothing else, it will make me very happy.

Jess - Not using the educational pack myself, but it looks good.

Bluestem - Are we nerds? Yes! Here's proof: Joerg wants me to point out that your definition lacks a base case. He suggests "Recursion: If you still don't get it, see recursion."

I know! He's a regular barrel of monkeys. A very logical barrel of monkeys.

Also, bluestem, I love that name.

[purple_kangaroo]

I guess I was one of the five.

[Sarah]

Moreena,
I love the house! It's beautiful, and what a great price. You could, maybe, get a 2 bedroom shack here in Wheaton for that price, maybe.

We will be at the children's museum at Navy Pier on the 26th, and I really hope that you guys will be able to make it!

[Gillian]

Would it be to recursive to say I love your writing. OK. Definitely recursive but in a good way. Not only was I one of the people assuring everyone that I really didn't want to know about homestarrunner.com anyway but my stripper name is also a dismal failure. Nicki is good but the last name would be Roosevelt and that just doesn't fly. sigh.

[Jennifer]

Missing you. Hope all is well.

[moreena]

Jennifer-thanks. We're mostly good.

[History Channel program on lost books of the Bible.]

History Channel program on lost books of the Bible.
Mentioned there was a woman made in perfect equality with Adam, one who refused to take a subservient role and rejected his advances. The gods dispatched an angel for her and she ascended. This is yet another clue illustrating that sex hurts people.
This is true::::This IS material written which was rejected when the Bible was compilated. Consistant with the Mohammed clue I suspect we do not experience good Jesus's teachings in the Bible either.
They subsequently illustrate how Lillith was demonized by these disfavored Meditereaneans. Because Eve was made from man SHE is the source of women's evil.

"Very fast growing tumor, 3 months ago may not have been detectable."-MD
Ted may be good and this is his punishment for the evil of endorsing Osama. Similarly, JFK started the Vietnam War.
People may be confused, since both are clone hosts. There are good clone hosts which the gods could use to send a clue, the Ted Kennedy-Osama malignant cancer being a good example.
If these people were evil they wouldn’t be getting this "feedback". Of course as highly visible figures this "feedback" is for us.
When it comes to "acceptable losses" it is ALWAYS best to let the gods do it through "acts of god". This is one of the things clone hosts learn when they "come around".

Planet Reverse Positioning::::Your infertility was favor, for the gods were granting you more time in hope you could get out "before" this obligation forced you to stay.
The Italians bred like rabbits:::That they got "pregnant immediately" illustrated their undesirability.
Your children are the ones with the opportunity now. You must sacrifice to give them the best chance possible.
It's children who go to heaven, not old people.

This is the REAL battle of good and evil:::Me vs. god. Of course I'm trying to help you understand that you are corrupted, fell for temptation and are going the wrong way::::WE are the ones who are evil. (While executing the battle of good and evil the gods do some evil things, like role play their clone host tools to disceive you, forcing thoughts into your head, etc.)
The gods tested us and we have failed, scapegoatting their tools to ensure people never become god-fearing. Learn what I teach and try to uncorrupt yourselves. NOBODY IS GOING TO SAVE YOU!! You have to save yourselves by repairing your relationship with the gods.
Cashier@GSqfamilymemberreincarnated.com

This is how the gods do business:::::They use temptation and deception to compel people to chase something that has already been decided. It's children who go to "beaven". OLd people have to come back. The gods will use their power to contradict this, corrupting people and compelling them to incurr evil::::They used the Italians to ruin life in the 20th century, cost you the Final Prophet and the result will be death as you wait for the Italian Second Coming of Christ to save you.
This is the god's positioning and it IS going to be enforced. Never forget::::The gods have always offered "protection" to those genuinely religious. It is something that was always respected, even in the wicked 20th century.