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January 16, 2012

Comments

Neighbor Lady

I am a long time lurker, and may have occasionally commented in the past--can't remember now, but have been following your story for many years now, holding you and your kids in my thoughts.

I just wanted to delurk because of the sentence about the diet plan...step 1 etc... (which I do realize was meant in jest, but still....)

The "Younger" part, I guess I can't argue with, but as for prettier--beauty is all about who you are as a person. And in all the years I've been reading your blog, I know for sure you are truly beautiful, inside and out. And, as for "more successful", may I just encourage you to look at those two wonderful girls of yours and the spirit you have shared with them as you have nurtured them over the years. By my reckoning, there is no greater success than that.

Hope I'm not being too intrusive, and definitely don't mean to come off as preachy or anything (you have such a great way with words, and sometimes I can't make mine sound exactly how I want them to), but wanted to share those thoughts. More beautiful or more successful? No possible way.

I am truly sorry for this difficult time you are facing.
My thoughts and well-wishes will be with you and your girls.

--Neighbor Lady

liz

Sending you hugs and love and wishes for a warm workroom.

And it's wrong for me to say this on MLK Jr. Day, but I really really really want to kick Jorg in the nuts.

Susan

You're making progress. That's all that can be asked for, right? Perhaps Jorg would like to buy you out of the expensive house so that the girls can have their cake and eat it too?

Mike

FYIW, I use mint.com to track expenses and such. It's pretty handy for knowing where our money is going and coming.

Catherine

You are so gorgeous and amazing, Moreena. But I do have a suggestion: I think you should start omitting the umlaut. Just plain Jorg. With a hard j. But then again, petty revenge is a specialty of mine.

taly

I hope you had 20 lbs to spare. A new house can be extremely helpful in a life change for more than just financial reasons, especially closer to family. Since the existing place is both of yours, it does not have to be your responsibility (agreeing with the suggestion above to buy you out of the expensive house). While there are many programs and tools to help track existing expenses, perhaps analyzing last year's patterns aren't quite as helpful as figuring out your priorities and values. In other words, you can simply decide what your monthly expenses will be - I found adding up what I thought we must have easier than subtracting... Debt can be negotiated as well, especially in this change of circumstances, and it first needs to be divided (not necessarily 50-50) for you to have an accurate picture of your share of responsibility.
Very much in favor of your approach to tackle one thing a day. Warmly,

elswhere

Another beautiful and thoughtful post. I'm guessing "Begin" is a Wailing Jennys reference? Just remembered another Canadian band you might like, The Be Good Tanyas, They kind of trend more melancholy than the Jennys, especially their new stuff. But you might like some of it. Like this song, which I listened to a lot in the car during a hard time a few years ago, and whose video only adds to its loveliness: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd1Ie370rHk&ob=av2e

kathy a.

very beautifully written. i'm glad you're making progress; that you and the girls are adjusting. not feeling kindly about the circumstances forcing you into this big life shakeup.

it would be great if he bought out your share on the house, and then he could deal with it. meanwhile, yay on one thing every day!

on the money -- don't sell yourself short on what you will need. i'm guessing you are not currently spending a lot, because everything is up in the air and the cash flow is uncertain, but the kids will keep needing things -- and it gets more costly as they get older. things will keep breaking; the closet door is one thing, but a car or furnace is something else again. if you are working more, you will need more to cover child care, summer camp, etc. so, what you've spent recently is not necessarily the best measure.

it's great annika immediately thought of studio when she heard about that one place! we spent a long time looking for a house that was right for us and that we could afford -- it was so interesting seeing the kids at open houses, imagining each place as theirs. even if we were definitely not going to buy a place, they ran around calling dibs on bedrooms, discussing how we would use other rooms and whether the pets would approve. they played detective: who lives here? (open houses suspend the rules about nosiness -- you can walk right in and check everything out. and express opinions.)

Jessica

The divorce diet is an impressive system. Did it myself and discovered that I had some kind of boney structural system holding my whole body together. Crazy. :-) But the even better diet? Falling in love again. Because I was happy AND skinny. I know it is too soon to think about. But I'm guessing some day you will be there. In the mean time protect your money. Listen to your attorney. And have a small funeral for that umlaut. I couldn't agree more with Catherine.

Sue

begin anywhere.
hugs.

Rev Dr Mom

I'm glad you are writing again--but I am so so very sorry that you are having to go through this. Been there and done that in a different version of course, but hang in there...you will make it through to the other side.

Many hugs and good thoughts for you and the girls.

And I'm glad you have a good attorney--absolutely crucial!!

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Falling Down, November 2004

  • Balloon in hand, my 4-year-old
    twirled across the kitchen floor,
    singing nonsense words
    in her own key.
    "It's my gift!" she declared
    to the world at large, which
    was really only me,
    sitting at the table. Enough
    twirling, and she lost
    her balance, tumbling
    to the floor in a theatrical
    slapstick of elbows and knees.

    She lay on her back
    for a few seconds,
    staring
    at the textured ceiling
    with the mysterious
    spaghetti sauce stain.
    Suddenly she
    began
    flapping her arms and legs
    there on the floor, as if to swish
    the imaginary snow
    into a snow angel.

    "Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

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