live blogging the transplant

Jörg and I are sitting in the surgical waiting room pretty much by ourselves. Not many surgeries start at 7 p.m. Annika's surgeons looked pretty fresh for guys going in for a grueling all-night transplant, but it's hard to believe this is all happening at such a ridiculous hour.

We're both still caught in the unreality of it all, I guess.

Anyway, I've got my computer here, and a wireless connection, so I'll probably update pretty frequently.

They are going to have to reduce the size of the liver, so that's going to add some time to the surgery. The donor is pediatric (I know. It's awful and sad and makes this night even longer), but still twice the size of Annika. They're going to have to rebuild her portal vein and they're going to have to rebuild her hepatic artery all the way back to the aorta and then they're going to have to see if she can keep her shunt or if they'll have to block it off to keep it from robbing her new liver of blood.*

Anyway, all we know right now is that everything looks good at this point.

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Frankie's birthday is tomorrow. I hate that we're going to miss it, but we have some great friends in town who are going to try to make it a special day for her, even without her family. When I called to say good-night to her, she had her friend from down the street over and our friends Greg and Becky were helping her make a lemon birthday cake. With sprinkles, of course.

It's hard to say how this all affects her. She's a pretty resilient kid, but I know this has been hard on her, too. Annika has been hurting so much lately that she hasn't even wanted Frankie too close to her, since her 4-year-old energy leads her to frequent collisions. And that is probably the hardest thing for the kid whose very favorite person in the whole wide world is her big sister.

Before we went to the hospital last time, Frankie followed me into the kitchen. "Hey, mom, I have a joke to tell you."

Evidently, one of Frankie's biggest fears right now is that a really great joke will go unrecognized, so she is always careful to announce them before she begins.

"Are you ready to hear my joke?"

"Yes, go ahead."

I schooled my features to show proper anticipation for what was sure to be yet another in Frankie's long line of butt jokes (or the closely associated poop or fart-themed verbal delights).

"OK. Here's my joke: Mama, see you tomorrow!"

As required by official maternal contract, I laughed my ass off. But it was pretty sad, too.

Good wishes to you, my youngest one. I'm always thinking of you, too.

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8: 40 pm

We just got an update. They started the surgery (as in scalpels getting involved, not just placing lines and intubating and all the prep work) 45 minutes ago. First incision, and it will be slow going working through all her scar tissue.

* Jörg's comment to me, after the surgeon told us that possibly the shunt was currently diverting too much blood around her liver, "You've got to like a surgeon who tells you that a possibly problematic shunt is actually 'working too well' !"

Comments

[Ginny]

Prayers prayers prayers prayers prayers.........................

[Phantom Scribbler]

Here, listening, thinking of you the length of this long night.

Happy birthday, Frankie.

[kathy a.]

i'm a huge fan of frankie! and so please tell her that ms. kathy in california sends birthday love. xoxoxo

and oh, moreena. please keep posting if that helps, because we want to know. i don't have words enough to talk about all the emotions. xoxoxoxoxo

[Jane Dark]

I'm here listening too, and probably will be for as long as you keep posting updates.

Hugs to all of you, and prayers.

[Vicky]

I am not sure I have ever commented before but I've been following your blog for a long time.

I wanted to let you know that I'll be checking in regularly today as it's the middle of the day in Japan, so I'll be thinking of Anni, and all of your family as the transplant goes on.

I cannot pretend to know how you feel and would be presumptious to say so but I am a mum of two boys myself and I can understand in general terms the anxiety of letting them go into the hands of the doctors.

Be strong!

[Acre]

I'm a long-time lurker and just wanted to let you know that I'm out here tonight, reading along, wishing and hoping and wanting as hard as I can.

[Alice]

Steve and I are sending as many good healthy thoughts to Chicago as we possibly can squeeze out. And keep hoping for good updates. Big hugs to everyone.

[Gillian (Alice's mom)]

waiting up with you... praying hard!

[Carrie]

Praying and holding all of you in my thoughts through the night. Please, please, please let her be well.

[Amy]

You live blog, I'll live read! Sitting here grading several stacks of papers... and thinking of you all.

Frankie is my birthday twin. Happy Birthday to all three of us!

[Emily]

I too have been lurking around this blog for a long time. And for what it's worth, the thoughts and best wishes of a total stranger are with your family tonight.

[quinn]

Lots of good hopes and prayers your way.

[Megan]

I just discovered your blog this evening. I have been reading through and it's really touched my heart. Sending lots of positive thoughts to you all. I will be watching for your updates.

[MKH]

My very best thoughts are with you all. Hope the birthday girl likes her lemon cake?! Much love and many prayers.

[Monica]

following along here, too...glad you have a wireless connection. Sure is different from past transplants...to be so far away and "hearing" about it only as I read the words you write...

[kiersten from book club]

we're here...

[Melanie]

Never commented before but thinking of all of you, as well as the donor family, right now. I'm hoping everything works out even better than you could imagine and that Frankie's birthday is awesome. Best thoughts to all of you!

[Mary Kiernan Lee]

I know so well the worry you have about how this effects Frankie.
Nora is 16 years post transplant and has had her share of ups and downs. Maggie was 2 at the time of the transplant and is now a freshmen in college.
It was always my goal that Nora should live a "normal" life but Maggie was truly more responsible
for that than I was. At 18 and 16 years old, my daughters prefer each other's company to others and it is a blessing.
I am glad for the update, I wasn't really expecting it when I came looking for it.
As always, Annika is in my prayers.

[liz]

Sending love and prayers. And the thoughts of all the Wednesday Whiners. We wait with you in spirit.

[Susan]

Prayers and more prayers coming your way.

[paige]

Happy Birthday to you, and to Frankie. The third time, it is so so charming.

Thoughts and prayers to all of you...

[mom101]

Am just here to send more support and good wishes. There is a ton to go around for you tonight.

[Brenda - SeriouslyMama]

All the prayers and good vibes I have are sent your way tonight. The blogosphere is thinking of you, Annika and your family.

[Marinka]

I'm sending prayers and good thoughts. Take care of yourself too.

[Hannah]

Happy Birthday, sweet Frankie. I know your biggest birthday wish is the same as everyone elses.
God, I'm crying my eyes out right now.