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April 15, 2012



YOU are one of the kindest, strongest, most wonderful souls I know.


You are, simply, wonderful. Happy spring. I'm glad you are starting to see a way through a hard, hard time.

I became a vegetarian because it enabled me to stop arguing with my (in hindsight way-too-controlling) college boyfriend (who had talked me into going off the meal plan to cook with him in his dorm kitchen) about how much meat or what menus to make in a week. He went off for a semester abroad and I realized how much I loved just cooking for myself and not worrying about what to eat. And when I dreaded his return, and the return of the arguments, I decided to just be vegetarian. (49 year old me looks back at 20 year old me and screams "YOU SHOULD HAVE DUMPED HIM" but that's not where I was). That's a way worse reason for going vegetarian than not thinking cooking meat is your forte.


You are awesome, and I'm glad that things are getting at least a little bit... easier? Not sure what the right words are, but you sound more hopeful.

On vegetarianism: I'm still not entirely sure why I'm vegetarian, although at least part of it was that I'm afraid I'd undercook the meat and poison myself... So culinary inability is totally a valid reason (or at least that's what I tell myself) :)


Awesome. That is you!

You are awesome!


So glad to see your post.


What a lovely post. I'm glad you three will move house, and I'm also glad you will stay in the same town.
Here is to many new and beautifully blossoming flowers in your new yard.


Beautiful post.

I went vegetarian for a year because of an argument I had with a then-boyfriend about animal testing.

But I ended up going back to eating meat because I kept getting anemic.

Go veg if you want to, but if your problem is how to cook meat, then get yourself a probe thermometer and remember that the trick to meat is internal temperature.

Steaks: Sear for about 5 minutes per side in a cast iron skillet on top of the stove, then place in 350 oven until internal temp reaches 140 - 160 depending on how well-done you like it.


Happy Spring! Lovely to see your new blossoms! ;)

Neighbor Lady

So SO happy to see this post!!!!
Happy to see that you are feeling spring!
Best best wishes to you--
Neighbor Lady
p.s. I am excited to hear all about the new blossoms you plant in your new yard.


Do you have help with moving? Less house - less to clean. Less yard to mow. New memories everywhere. And it can be ALL YOUR OWN. Will be wonderful.
A fabulous mother makes an awesome partner for some special breed of guys. They do exist.
Also, it is remarkable that you are dealing with new things at this time (such as finances). It is possible to find banks to lend to you. Just takes time to find them.
I do not think your stakes are necessarily horrible at all. It's Frankie's way of coping. I'd be making them often to let her talk.
One does not need to be unhappy for a long time to decide one day that they must have been because they are having an affair.
Love your beautiful family very much. Peaceful dreams.

kathy a.

omg, i am so late! but this is a beautiful post. and i agree with everyone, YOU ARE WONDERFUL! beautiful, smart, kind, an excellent mother, the kind of friend i wished lived nearby.

also -- his loss. i'm glad you are beginning to exculpate yourself from this collapse, because it is about him, and not you. and glad you are self-excavating, too, building the something new. you and the girls are going to have one heck of a yard at the new place, i can tell you that much.

about 2/3 of my college went vegetarian one year, because the food service got so awful, and at least the veggie choices were more edible (harder to wreck a salad bar), and we could pass for being cool. this didn't turn out to be a good life choice because of anemia, and also i like meat at least sometimes.

liz has a great suggestion about the meat thermometer. also, a person can do less meat without committing to no meat. and, things made in a crock pot are incredibly easy -- the veggies and meat and whatever cook like magic with no particular skill needed -- which is a huge bonus when one's life is busy enough anyway.


Here's a thought: since Frankie so loves meat, sign her up for a cooking class, either in the community or online or with a friend, and make her the new meat chef. She may still need careful watching in the kitchen, depending on her coordination and attention level, but I say the person who loves the results will do the best job, never mind traditional roles.

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Falling Down, November 2004

  • Balloon in hand, my 4-year-old
    twirled across the kitchen floor,
    singing nonsense words
    in her own key.
    "It's my gift!" she declared
    to the world at large, which
    was really only me,
    sitting at the table. Enough
    twirling, and she lost
    her balance, tumbling
    to the floor in a theatrical
    slapstick of elbows and knees.

    She lay on her back
    for a few seconds,
    at the textured ceiling
    with the mysterious
    spaghetti sauce stain.
    Suddenly she
    flapping her arms and legs
    there on the floor, as if to swish
    the imaginary snow
    into a snow angel.

    "Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

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