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May 01, 2012



Hey, this was great. Hope the move works out. I am glad J helped with the new house (and hopefully, will take care of/take over the existing one?). You've made all the right decisions and choices for the girls as far as I can see from the posts. I hope your decisions about your own future can match those you made for your loved ones.
Some dog you got there. If I ever get an animal discerning enough for organic, I'd flip... And then the pleasure of hunching the flax seeds over the entire neighborhood - concerned about the community :)
Aren't shopping cart dreams about homelessness? Is this why you needed to claim dreams are boring and a total waste of time? If so, please dream of palaces!!! You are the Queen and you rock!
As for fairness - let it break your flow again if there is a great cause! If not - would not mind your being human and keeping it real.
Life is long and worth fighting for every moment of every day.
Packing should be fun - de-clutter and down-size! Friends intact.
Hope nothing derails you from the present course - it is a long-term winner.
Much love and best of karma for y'all


I hope waking up in a new house will feel like a fresh start for you, with new daily routines that are entirely yours. I have to disagree with @taly that packing is fun :) but it can definitely be cathartic* to dump stuff with emotional baggage at Goodwill.

Dogs are healing! Assuming you get the house, it's great that the girls will get to stay within their little social support network. I hope you find more people to connect with - something I struggle with. People always suggest pursuing my interests, like running groups or a book club. I should try harder at that, but when I was going through a really tough year, it was hard to connect with new people that had their life in order. I wanted to meet people that were also flailing. Should I have hung flyers? "Are you currently having or have you recently had a shitty time? Let's all meet at the bar and weep together!" It's hard to find these people when we're all avoiding eye contact and eating alone on our couches.

*I looked up cathartic to make sure I was using it right. I didn't know it's true meaning is closer to the effects of whole-grain granola with flax seed on dogs - "a substance that accelerates defecation."


Sending you hugs and love and (virtual) unbreakable dishes.

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Falling Down, November 2004

  • Balloon in hand, my 4-year-old
    twirled across the kitchen floor,
    singing nonsense words
    in her own key.
    "It's my gift!" she declared
    to the world at large, which
    was really only me,
    sitting at the table. Enough
    twirling, and she lost
    her balance, tumbling
    to the floor in a theatrical
    slapstick of elbows and knees.

    She lay on her back
    for a few seconds,
    at the textured ceiling
    with the mysterious
    spaghetti sauce stain.
    Suddenly she
    flapping her arms and legs
    there on the floor, as if to swish
    the imaginary snow
    into a snow angel.

    "Falling down is also a gift!" says she.

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